Just followed my mom on Pintrest
She has significantly more followers compared to how many people she follows.
Like mother like son, I suppose
My relationship with my mom in a nutshell
- Mom:
[while bitching about someone she hates] The bitch didn't even say hi to me.
- Me:
What a fucking peasant.
- Mom:
SHE IS A FUCKING PEASANT. OH MY GODDD
- Me:
[dies and goes to heaven]
- Me:
What's in the box? [looks inside]
- Mom:
That's Grandma's present.
- Me:
...You got her Magic Mike on DVD?
- Mom:
- Me:
- Mom:
- Me:
- Me:
I'm okay with this.
- Me:
[Showing my mom a binder with a Charlie Brown silhouette on the cover]
- Mom:
The only thing that needs is Snoopy on it!
- Me:
Snoopy dies
- Mom:
...What?
- Me:
- Mom:
- Me:
- Mom:
I'll get you some more construction paper
How my Mother won the Internet
While I know it’s basically a Tumblr Sin to say anything Facebook about other than “it sucks”, but I figured, “FUCK IT. I am going to hell anyway.”
So, I posted one of those chain statuses on my Facebook status. This one to be specific:
I got a variety of responses that I loved. I got responses that ranged from Middle School, to Anime, and even God (from my atheist Senior English teacher).
My mom wrote this:
Initially, I was really embarrassed, but then I got over it because it’s the best one word description for how we met.
And I’m not really sure how she won the Internet, but she did. If you disagree, you can eat me.
- Tom:
I asked my mom if she’s still awake.
- Tom:
I iMessaged that bitch.
Why don’t you crawl out of your hole and get hit by a Mack Truck?My Mom to some bitch